"It’s cool we’re having adventures and stuff together, but…do you think I could have the sword this time?"
"Mort, we’ve been over this. You’re the Chanukah Polar Bear, you get the menorah."
"I know, but you can’t really do anything with it. Besides, it’s not like swords have much to do with Christmas or anything."
"Yeah they do. It’s like the Bible is a lamp unto my feet and a sword against evildoers, or something. I think it’s in 2 Philippians."
"It’s just that it feels like you’re getting all the action and I’m just standing here to make it more inclusive."
"Aw, dude, you know that’s not true. Look, Morty, I have tremendous respect for the Jewish people and the whole story of Chanukah, the way those polar bears bravely wore their speedos into battle. This is a season for sharing our cultural heritages, not for squabbling over religious differences."
"Yeah, maybe you’re right, Donnie."
"Now, the Festivus Gremlin is in that cave right over there, and I’ll need plenty of light if I’m gonna stab him with this sword. Are you with me, bud?"
"Let’s do it, partner!"